Reinvention-Part I

I think it's time to "reinvent" the diva in myself.

For years, I've been living the life. I've had a great job, an amazing apartment, and if ever I wanted something I just went out and bought it. I had the lifestyle, but I took it for granted. I always had bigger dreams and ambitions and was never satisfied with what I had. I always pushed to be better, to have more, to do more. As I like to call it, I was the "small town boy with the big city dreams."

As many of you know, I recently relocated across the country. I left it all behind-everything. Friends. Family. The life I'd always known.

Why would I do this? I ask myself that very question each and every day. The thing is, when you hear of someone's great success story, you don't hear of an easy journey. You never hear about how they lived in a small town and one day someone just picked them out of a crowd. You hear about trials and tribulations. Errors and failures. Hard times and huge, rising successes. Am I living in a dream world? Have I done something foolish and spur of the moment?

All these thoughts have been going through my mind lately, and I'm feeling sort of overwhelmed. I'm quickly finding out that life here is so much more different and difficult than I had expected. I'm not used to the Pennsylvania way of life. To be honest, I feel as if I'm at a crossroads in my life, and I don't really know which direction to go. Do I stick it out up here and try and make it work? Do I go back to my home town, where nothing ever happens? I'm used to being in control of my life, and for the first time ever, I'm not. That scares the shit out of me. I just want to "transplant" my old lifestyle from TN to PA. Is that ridiculous?